Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize