Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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