How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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