You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
