Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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