You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
