So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
