i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
