Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
