so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
