worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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