Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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