I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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