He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
