i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
