i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
