It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
