When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.