I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.