phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.