he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
