benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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