im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
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quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
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I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild