:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.