and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.