Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name