Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
