we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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