fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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