I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
