You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
