THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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