just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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