ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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