i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
