apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
