get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
