I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
