I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
