I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
