my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
