Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize