sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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Mattress luging...It's a long story.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
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You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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