How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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