It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i was born a porn star she said
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
