I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
