i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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