shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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