I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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