Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
