Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
