He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
