you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
