He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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