Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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