First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your penis caused this!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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