Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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